For All The Fellas Out There With Ladies To Impress

It's easy to do, just follow these steps:
1.) Act like a douche.
And you're done.
***
So, it has been a while hasn't it...
unfortunately it will continue to be a while because I am dead tired.  And usually when one says that they are dead tired they say it in jest with a bit of sarcasm in their voice...or a very exhausted tone.


I, however, am saying this from the grave.
LITERALLY dead tired.
***
B4 I go, I must share these three thoughts, because they have tormented my mind all day:


1.) It is officially the semester of weird relationships.  Just weird crap is going down.  People are dating who should never date.  People are breaking up who should never break up.  People are just crazy and OBVIOUSLY don't know what is best for them.  They should have asked me for advice.
I would have set them straight.


2.) Women...help me understand this, AGAIN.  Why are you drawn to douchecakes?  Why is it that they are so appealing?  I don't understand why I should make women open the door for me and they will love me for it.
(The Doctor says it has something to do with confidence.  Help a brotha out...)


3.) I.  Hate.  Elitists.  I don't care if you REALLY ARE better than someone at something.  Have some humility for cryin' out loud!  Seriously.  Why you gotta be hatin' on us who suck more than you?!


That's all.  It's time for bed.


I cannot be killed.


~Spease