You're Ruining Fudruckers For Everyone!

So...it turns out I don't know how to spell Fudruckers.  Is it one D or two?  Double D's up in this 'Rucker?  I don't know.  And WHO CARES is what you're thinking...


It has been too long, dear blog.
I would like to formally apologize for the lack of updates from all of us here in Apt.6.  That could easily be the name of a publishing company.  Video games and such.  You know how it is.  You know WHAT it is, yeah, uh-hu...


Sorry, that was a little Wiz Khalifa comin' out.


***


Right now I'm watching Community Season 2 on DVD.  It is quite fantastic.
That has nothing to do with anything.


***


This blog seems to be a place for me to do some discovering, self-exploration and life-sharing with all you fine folks out there.  Let me share my latest gem:
-I MAY be slightly lactose intolerant.  At least, I can only seem to have milk if it is mixed with MANY MUCH SOLIDS.  Or if it is in the form of a solid, itself.  Like ice cream...or yogurt.  Those are both highly acceptable forms of dairy to enter into my intestines.  They are non-illegal aliens there.  They are free to come across the border anywhere and anytime they choose.  If, however, milk tries to cross the border by itself or even with only it's best friend chocolate powder, it is gunned down on sight and thrown into the river to float downstream quickly and painfully.


You may think that what you just read is TMI, but think about it, again.
Metaphors can't be TMI.  They're metaphors.  If they were metafives, then they would be too much, probably.  No one is threatened by phors.


That made me think of something...that whole downstream-floating corpse thing...I can't remember what now, so it just kinda sounds creepy.  And I apologize.


***


Tonight, while everyone else in my life was at home being responsible and doing homework, I was out at volleyball TEARIN' IT UP!


***


It's late.  I'm eating sunflower seeds that are supposed to taste like bacon but instead taste like pork ramen.  I should be sleepy.  Mainly because I wasn't able to fall asleep til almost 3 AM last night AKA this morning.  Instead, what am I doing?  I'm talking to you.  Wait...
No.
I'm not even talking to you.
I'm actually just typing this with the hope that MAYBE someday later you will see this.
YOU.
YOU.
That's how important you are.  I type things just for you.
...just for you...
Imagine that I said that last sentence with the same feeling of a person sneaking up behind you in the bathroom and whispering "taste the rainbow".


***

Maybe I'm insomniacal.  Maybe.
But probably not.


It's beddy-bye, sleepy time.


~Spizzler
(It's like Twizzler, but not Strawberry; instead it's human flavored)


P.S. Why can't all of the words out of my mouth be as funny as the last two sentences.  I would speak pure, comedic gold.  Liquid.  Hot.  Comedy.  Gold.